Hold it, because they hold it too.

Assalamualaikum. 

Hehehe, ni kalau arwah ayoh nampak Fredo macam ni...

Mesti, ayoh akan cakap, "Alo... penatnya dia..."

 and Fredo akan bangun dan lari naik atas.

Hahaha.

Fredo ni jenis takut dengan arwah ayoh.

Ayoh selalu marah dia sebab nakal, tapi ayoh still manjakan dia.

Nak-nak pula, waktu tu Fredo was the only cat in the house.

Here, I would like to say as a title above.

Sometimes, benda tak semudah yang kita sangka.

dan kadang-kala benda tu tak jadi macam yang kita nak.

Tapi, inilah life yang sebenarnya.

Nak tak nak, we need to follow the flow.

Kita diberi pilihan, dan kita kena buat keputusan.

Benda bila dah hidup jauh daripada family,

banyak ragam dan masalah dia.

Jeles, orang dekat balik rumah?!

Yes!

Dia bukan jeles gila-gila, cuma kita yang tak biasa dengan semua benda baru.

Tapi, kita hold. Tahu, benda kalau tak paksa takkan bagi result apa-apa.

Nak balik rumah?

Yes!

Siapa taknak balik kan?

Rindukan orang rumah... rindukan Al-Foronso the most.

Single day without them pun, kita dah jadi macam sasau.

Tapi, apa?

Kita hold it, sebab kita tahu dieorang pun hold macam kita juga. 

Everytime rasa macam nak balik, selalu cakap dekat diri. 

Hold it, because they hold it too.

In the mean time, Allah tarik apa yang kita punya... just let it go. 

Atleast, Allah bagi chance dan masa untuk kita spend masa bersama. 

Lagipun, at the first place memang hak Allah pun, kan? 

Apa hak kita nak halang hak mutlak dia?

Faham, benda tak mudah kalau bak kehilangan ni.

Apatah lagi, the one yang paling kita sayang.

Tapi, nak tak nak... redha tu kena.

It is okay to cry.

Cry.

and cry again.

But, after a few times you crying...

have you ask yourself a question?

How long you wanna crying like this?!

I'm not a cold-hearted.

But, I try my best to hold my tears.

Because...

I cannot promise if I cry now,

 in future I will not be crying for the same issues again.

If you feel, by crying you will be okay,

Then, cry.

If not,

Just do what you want.

For now,

I miss both of them.

Totally miss them very much.

Ayoh.

Fredo.

This two really in deep connection yang tak boleh diasingkan.

When I lose ayoh, Fredo was there with me alone in the house.

She react different when I was home to pack things.

I do not know what she saw.

But, I say to her...

"Fredo, cari siapa tu? Ayoh takde."

By then, tak tahulah apa budak tu faham ke tidak since 3 days lagi arwah ayoh duduk dekat hospital. Nasib mudah je nak uruskan budak Yeri and Queri. Letak kotak tinggi, so dieorang takkan merayau then cepat cari pakaian for semua.

Teringat pula, kalau ayoh kena tahan wad,

I was the one yang packkan barang-barang semua.

Heater.

Blanket.

Pillow.

Beg hotpack.

Ubat nyamuk.

Ubat Hemopaty.

Kadang tu, dah siap sedia dah barang-barang.

Senang, nanti terus angkut.

Waktu tu, even dah besar...

Otak macam tak matang pun.

Just ikut je keadaan.

Oh, kena tahan?

Nanti siapa jaga?

Boleh je jaga, esok cuti kan?

Kalau weekend, memang mama akan rehatlah.

Kitorang yang jaga malam.

Nak pula, yang jenis tak tidur.

Bergilir-gilir tengokkan.

Tak sangka, cepat je masa berlalu.

 Tak sangka, hampir 2 tahun benda ni happen.

Rasa macam semalam je, 

Jaga ayoh,

Picit kaki ayoh,

Jadi hotpack ayoh,

Dengar suara ayoh,

Tengok ayoh.

Tak pernah sangka, 

That night was the last night dengar suara ayoh.

Dapat dengar dengkuran ayoh.

Dapat tengok muka ayoh tidur.

Waktu tu memang tepat pandang ayoh,

Memang terlintas dalam kepala,

"Macam mana kalau ni kali terakhir tengok muka ayoh?"

Allah tu Maha Berkuasa.

If he has the chance, save him.

But, if it better to let him go, I will let him go.

Allah hear my voice for the first time.

He also hear mine in the seconds.

But, He take it when it was my third time.

He give me enough time.

Even, I feel it still not.

Maybe, I just need my entire life for be with him.

Are me be so greedy?

I know you want it too :)

A week before, we are a happy family.

Celebrate AidilAdha together.

Never know,

The last time doing thing together already happen.

No longer can go to grave together and hear his voice read 'Yassin'.

Because now, was our turn to go there and read him a 'Yassin'.

Al-Fatihah.